Definitely want to keep the number of main love interest reasonable. There will be some optional one night stands / hookup's for those that can never have enough cake. (I'm personally one of those people)
- Jul 18, 2024
- 221
- 327
Nope. But judging by her reactions the sis already has a secret crush on her bro or something. Maybe in a few updates.
- Jan 1, 2022
- 25
- 41
Good selection of tags, I have hopes for this game, mother + twin sister 
, what more could I ask for, the harem is the cherry on the cake
, what more could I ask for, the harem is the cherry on the cake I'm glad someone caught on
. Seriously though I'm not sure how I missed that one. Thanks for pointing it out!That's where the second harem tag comes in. You take the starting spot, and take the old starter's pot.Question: "obtaining his own harem." Can he obtain someone else's harem? Would that be Harem Cucking?
Awesome first release, this game is very promising. I'm a sucker for Sisters/Childhood friends (as long as they're virgins) and Sephora definitely scratches that itch. From what little I've seen of her, I have very high hopes. The other characters are fun too: Lianna, Jessica, and Kiara all seem nice. I'm excited to see the agent, as well as the redhead and the Asian girl from the title screen.
I don't know if you're a native speaker or not, but it's always nice to see games that don't devolve into Engrish.
Honestly, the biggest surprise and what I see as one of the most promising things in the game is actually Montez. While the Black best friend trope is more than a little tired, it fits this setting well and most importantly, Montez is actually well written and likable. So many games have male friend characters who feel completely tacked on, as if they were only added to check off a box, even in some otherwise well written games. When a game actually incorporates a well written male friend character it more often than not correlates with said game being well written.
Keep up the great work, I can't wait for what's next.
Also, just some advice: be careful with Patreon, since you have Incest in the game. That could become an issue in the future, although some devs manage to get away with it. I would recommend also making a Subscribe Star account as well.
I don't know if you're a native speaker or not, but it's always nice to see games that don't devolve into Engrish.
Honestly, the biggest surprise and what I see as one of the most promising things in the game is actually Montez. While the Black best friend trope is more than a little tired, it fits this setting well and most importantly, Montez is actually well written and likable. So many games have male friend characters who feel completely tacked on, as if they were only added to check off a box, even in some otherwise well written games. When a game actually incorporates a well written male friend character it more often than not correlates with said game being well written.
Keep up the great work, I can't wait for what's next.
Also, just some advice: be careful with Patreon, since you have Incest in the game. That could become an issue in the future, although some devs manage to get away with it. I would recommend also making a Subscribe Star account as well.
Last edited:
I appreciate you having thick skin. You seem like a dev who has a firm stance on the direction you want to take your story but still open to hear outside opinions.
On that note, could I suggest a different way to word something?
" As you navigate his senior and collegiate years , you'll meet several interesting people along the way"
1. If his senior year of high school is sort of like a prologue and the main thing is going to be his college years, then you could leave out the former from the synopsis since it's kind of unnecessary to explain that.
2. If not then maybe something like, "Meet several interesting people as you navigate through his journey towards his ultimate goal. Starting from his senior year of high school and then through his foray into the collegiate level." Or something along those lines. "Foray" might not be the best word depending on the MC's personality/mindset.
I'm not a writer but something like that will give the reader the impression, "Okay so this is going to be a college story and he's just starting." The point is to convey the main scenario to the readers to give them a sense of what to expect in terms of setting, direction of the story, and common tropes people may like or dislike.
Another piece of advice would be to read sports articles that cover NCAA football. You'll be able to pick up some terms/jargon that are used a lot. Especially this one word that's always used when people talk about college sports in general but I just can't seem to remember what it was. It's been a while since I last paid attention to any kind of sports honestly.
- Mar 13, 2021
- 14
- 6
I really like this one...
The writing seems to be pretty good. Without being too much of a knob, there's quite a few instances where "your" is used instead of what it should be "you're" or "you are". Matter of fact, and without going back through all the dialogue, I am almost certain "you're" was not used at all. Here's an example from one of the last scenes, should be "You're able to take all of me".
Otherwise, keep up the good work! The renders are top notch, can't wait to see where this one goes!
The writing seems to be pretty good. Without being too much of a knob, there's quite a few instances where "your" is used instead of what it should be "you're" or "you are". Matter of fact, and without going back through all the dialogue, I am almost certain "you're" was not used at all. Here's an example from one of the last scenes, should be "You're able to take all of me".
Otherwise, keep up the good work! The renders are top notch, can't wait to see where this one goes!
Good catch! I definitely missed a few. there is some you'res in the game just not as common as they should have been. But thanks to you're
post I think I corrected them all.I will definitely take a look into rewording the description so it comes off a little more clear..
I'm a big football fan but I want to keep the terms/jargon to a minimum at least at the beginning of the game. Don't want to overwhelm players who know nothing or next to nothing about football before they've had a chance to get into the story. If you can remember what word you were thinking of please let me know. I tried racking my brain about what word you could mean and couldn't come to a definitive conclusion.
- Dec 17, 2019
- 650
- 757
- Dec 17, 2021
- 2,977
- 7,064
I'm liking the story so far and I think it's overall a good start. If I could make one suggestion; little details make the difference between good and great... With that in mind (I truly mean this as constructive criticism)...
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
- Oct 17, 2023
- 29
- 60
Nice. Haven't seen many with this premise myself, good luck. I'll be following with great interest.
- Sep 10, 2019
- 945
- 1,605
Aside from a few spelling miscues this one is sweet. A nice story well presented. Decent renders.. just a great effort overall. Looking forward to seeing this one take wing and soar. Good luck to the Dev.
- Apr 3, 2018
- 46
- 116
Not sure how familiar you are with the NIL situation in college today, so gotta ask?
Is the MC a top prospect in the nation, likely to be recruited by the top universities?
If so, that offer was absolutely pathetic. Current top QBs in college are getting between 2 to 4 million per season, and the very elite of the elite(read Caleb Williams) received 7 million this past season.
Top WRs, OL, and DEs are being paid in the 100k to 250k range.
Is the MC a top prospect in the nation, likely to be recruited by the top universities?
If so, that offer was absolutely pathetic. Current top QBs in college are getting between 2 to 4 million per season, and the very elite of the elite(read Caleb Williams) received 7 million this past season.
Top WRs, OL, and DEs are being paid in the 100k to 250k range.
Echoing what the guy above said, $1000 a month for QB NIL? Lol. If he's a backup or a starter at a division 2 school, maybe. I made more than that in academic scholarships, and trust me, I was not as desirable as a QB recruit.
The scout said they think the MC will become a top QB recruit by the end of the season. Those QB's are getting 6 figs minimum if they're starting freshman year, with the top ones like Archie Manning get the (extremely overpaid) amount of $2 mil+ right out of high school. If you're wanting to give the impression that the school is taking a chance on the MC and he might not be that highly recruited, a set amount like $20-30k makes more sense.
Also, college rules state that schools themselves cannot offer NIL deals (unless that changed recently, but I doubt it) so offering that contract would be a recruiting violation. What they CAN do is brag about their NIL networks, about what other players on their team get, etc. NIL is given by businesses, not the school. And because they are not school employees, they get the added benefit of being able to talk to recruits directly without the coaches being "involved," and they can even offer it to kids still in high school. Yes, there have been colleges that have a rich booster paying a high school kid 6-7 figures to get them to go to their schools. It's a dirty business.
Check out
The scout said they think the MC will become a top QB recruit by the end of the season. Those QB's are getting 6 figs minimum if they're starting freshman year, with the top ones like Archie Manning get the (extremely overpaid) amount of $2 mil+ right out of high school. If you're wanting to give the impression that the school is taking a chance on the MC and he might not be that highly recruited, a set amount like $20-30k makes more sense.
Also, college rules state that schools themselves cannot offer NIL deals (unless that changed recently, but I doubt it) so offering that contract would be a recruiting violation. What they CAN do is brag about their NIL networks, about what other players on their team get, etc. NIL is given by businesses, not the school. And because they are not school employees, they get the added benefit of being able to talk to recruits directly without the coaches being "involved," and they can even offer it to kids still in high school. Yes, there have been colleges that have a rich booster paying a high school kid 6-7 figures to get them to go to their schools. It's a dirty business.
Check out
You must be registered to see the links
to get an idea of what top QB recruits are expected to get.
Last edited: