For an abandoned VN, this is pretty good.
The renders are good, Jenny & Ashley are "super" model level...
Of course, the story doesn't have an ending, but for what's there (there is a lot), the story is overall pretty good.
Now, unfortunately, the bad and what keeps this one from being excellent...
The writing... I generally give a lot of grace for this, but there are too many instances where the dialogue is forced, poorly worded/translated, and the characters say something that seems to come out of left field and doesn't fit with the character saying it. The MC is the most notable. In one sentence, he's a shy, considerate farm boy, then in the next sentence he's a street gang member throwing out curse words. It didn't feel consistent and it occurred enough to be noticeable/distracting.
The setting... oppressive summer heat in New Hampshire? I know it's fictional and not the U.S. New Hampshire, but this doesn't translate well. And a "farm boy" who doesn't know how to fight or shoot guns? I can't help but wonder if the writer knows anyone from a "farm" that fits this "western" type setting. And father/son sleeping in same bed? A little weird...
Sex scenes... there seems to be a lot of focus/concern about feminine hygiene and smell. Again, this doesn't translate well. These girls, particularly Jenny, Ashely, Aurora, and Elizabeth, aren't skanks...lol
Harem tag is misleading. Maybe it would have worked out with an ending, but not being able to get together with Jenny & Ashley seems criminal...lol
Overall, this is a solidly good abandoned product that is worth the time to read. There are just too many issues combined with unfinished/abandoned that prevent this one from being excellent.
The renders are good, Jenny & Ashley are "super" model level...
Of course, the story doesn't have an ending, but for what's there (there is a lot), the story is overall pretty good.
Now, unfortunately, the bad and what keeps this one from being excellent...
The writing... I generally give a lot of grace for this, but there are too many instances where the dialogue is forced, poorly worded/translated, and the characters say something that seems to come out of left field and doesn't fit with the character saying it. The MC is the most notable. In one sentence, he's a shy, considerate farm boy, then in the next sentence he's a street gang member throwing out curse words. It didn't feel consistent and it occurred enough to be noticeable/distracting.
The setting... oppressive summer heat in New Hampshire? I know it's fictional and not the U.S. New Hampshire, but this doesn't translate well. And a "farm boy" who doesn't know how to fight or shoot guns? I can't help but wonder if the writer knows anyone from a "farm" that fits this "western" type setting. And father/son sleeping in same bed? A little weird...
Sex scenes... there seems to be a lot of focus/concern about feminine hygiene and smell. Again, this doesn't translate well. These girls, particularly Jenny, Ashely, Aurora, and Elizabeth, aren't skanks...lol
Harem tag is misleading. Maybe it would have worked out with an ending, but not being able to get together with Jenny & Ashley seems criminal...lol
Overall, this is a solidly good abandoned product that is worth the time to read. There are just too many issues combined with unfinished/abandoned that prevent this one from being excellent.